WikiLeaks is spilling over a quarter million confidential diplomatic cables sent to and from US embassies all over the world. There’s your government spending problem right there—just how big is our Western Union bill? The leaked documents show American diplomats saying what they really think about world leaders and events… which is pretty much the opposite of diplomacy. Many world leaders are referred to in very unflattering terms. But then if they didn’t know they were routinely referred to in those terms, they shouldn’t be world leaders.

Have a nice Thanksgiving? If anyone at the airport massaged your inseam, here’s hoping it went seamlessly. Overall, there were no nightmare scenes at airports on the day before Thanksgiving. In the end, most people opted out of opt-out day. A guy in Salt Lake City went through airport security in a Speedo. It was a perfect opportunity for anyone looking for exposure… in every sense of the word. Some would say that all of the media fuss was a blatant overreaction. But then what exactly is an overreaction when you’re talking about a pat-down of your junk?

Right before Thanksgiving weekend, Tom DeLay got convicted of two felony counts… just in case you were having trouble coming up with things to be thankful for. DeLay was convicted of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. Essentially, he was convicted of acting like Tom DeLay. He was illegally funneling corporate money to Republican candidates, or pretty much of doing everything that John Roberts’ Supreme Court wants to allow anyone to do. DeLay is facing a maximum sentence of 99 years, but there’s no guarantee that he’ll even get jail time. I hope he gets it. I just want to see if Tom DeLay is going to be smiling as widely in his prison photo as he was in his arrest photo.

President Obama was injured in a basketball game on the day after Thanksgiving, needing stitches in his lip. As Presidential injuries go, it’s a lot better than passing out from eating a pretzel. George Bush fell over eating a pretzel, fell off his bike, and fell off a Segway scooter. Obama got elbowed in the mouth. It’s kind of nice to finally have a president who doesn’t cause his own injuries. Another person in the game accidentally elbowed the President in the mouth. I don’t play a lot of hoops, but if I’m in that game, I’m thinking my #1 priority is “do not injure the Commander in Chief.” I think I’m willing to actually miss a couple of rebounds, if it means not being the person who sends the President of the United States in for stitches. Well, if you’re going to get a dozen stitches in your mouth, I guess the day after Thanksgiving is the best timing you could ask for. At least you’re not going to be hungry for a while.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Thanks for the laughs, Leslie Nielson…