It’s Friday, ya bastids!

President Obama said that helping out the rich is the thing that “binds” the Republicans together. He’s wrong only in the sense that it hasn’t been binding them together very well recently. According to the President “They would prefer to see these kinds of cuts that could slow down our recovery over closing tax loopholes. That’s the thing that binds their party together at this point.” Hey, let’s not forget hating gays, minorities, and immigrants. They’re not one-dimensional!

Why is it that Republicans won’t believe facts, but they believe jokes? Journalist Dan Friedman, to make a point, made an obvious joke about Chuck Hagel addressing a group called “Friends of Hamas.” At least he thought it was an obvious joke. The obvious is never obvious to conservatives. Friedman thought the name was so over the top that nobody would take them seriously. Well, it’s impossible to go over the top of the Republicans’ monumental stupidity. Then next thing you knew, Breitbart.com was out with a story that Chuck Hagel got money from a group called Friends of Hamas. Who is Breitbart’s fact checker—Alex Jones? If only Breitbart had looked into it further, I’m sure they could have tied Chuck Hagel to the Klingons and the Romulans.

Vice President Biden delivered a passionate plea for gun control yesterday only a few miles from Newtown, Connecticut. But then where in this country can you go that’s very far from the scene of gun deaths?

Ann Coulter and John Stossel got into a heated debate. What a debate! John Stossel believes in libertarianism, and Ann Coulter believes in Ann Coulter. Modern Rand Paul-style libertarianism has just become an excuse for meanness and racism—you would think they would get along great with Ann Coulter. I wanted John Stossel to force Ann Coulter to eat her words, but only because I wanted to see if Ann Coulter could eat anything.

Finally, Laura Bush asked to be removed from an ad for gay marriage that showed her making comments supporting the rights of gays to marry. Let me get this straight (no pun intended)—this is a woman who chose to marry George W. Bush... and THIS is the thing she’s embarrassed by?

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