Happy Valentine’s Day, ya bastids! Don’t forget to do a little something for the person you love—even if you’re a conservative and that person is a fertilized egg or a corporation.
NRA head Wayne LaPierre wrote an op-ed in the Daily Caller called “Stand and Fight.” This is not the kind of thing a sane person writes and then goes about doing their job—it’s the kind of thing of thing you write before you climb a clock tower. Here are some excerpts from Wayne’s world: “After Hurricane Sandy, we saw the hellish world that the gun prohibitionists see as their utopia. Looters ran wild in south Brooklyn.” There was a “hellish world” after Sandy hit, but that was because of fire and flood, not the lack of guns. And if you thought the situation in “South Brooklyn” was so “hellish,” why did Republican members of Congress try to block any aid being sent to those areas? After Hurricane Sandy, Wayne said “There was no food, water or electricity.” But if you had a gun, you could evidently get those things—just shoot the floodwater until it becomes potable! Wayne refers to “the daunting forces we will undoubtedly face,” like “terrorists, crime, drug gangs, the possibility of Euro-style debt riots...” Oh, I forgot about the “Euro-style debt riots!” On the streets of Paris they’re beating people to death with baguettes! Let me just say, I would feel safer in the middle of the biggest “Euro-style debt riot” imaginable than I would in the America that Wayne LaPierre envisions.
Congressman Jim Langevin criticized the idea of having Ted Nugent attend the State of the Union Address. Ted responded that Congressman Langevin has “s**t for brains.” Welcome to “Point/Counter Point,” Tea Party Republican-style. Tea Party Congressman Steve Stockman, who invited Ted Nugent, said that Nugent is “one of the most articulate spokesmen” for gun rights. Yes he is... and that’s a terrible condemnation of just how inarticulate gun lovers are.
Poop seems to be in the news everywhere. I guess that’s because “s**t” happens. A Carnival cruise ship has been limping back to port for 8 days after an engine fire. In the meantime, burst pipes are spewing sewage everywhere and the people are trapped in it. Now they know how Ted Nugent’s testicles must have felt when he dodged the draft. Have a great Valentine’s Day!
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A little slice of surreal: Luke Russert attempts to milk a sane interview out of Ted Nugent...