Piers Morgan took his CNN show to a shooting range in Texas, where he was “confronted” by Alex Jones. Jones’s method of confronting Piers involved lulling him into distraction by first spending several minutes kissing Piers’ ass. I guess Alex Jones’s theory was that he would be in a better position to attack Piers Morgan if his tongue was between Piers’ butt cheeks. The actual guest on the Piers Morgan show was Ted Nugent. No wonder that Piers didn’t want to deal with Alex Jones too—there is only so much crazy you can tolerate at one time.

Alabama hostage-taker Jimmy Lee Dykes evidently kidnapped a child because he wanted to go on TV and rail against the government. Idiot—why would you throw your life away to do something that Fox News does 24/7? If he wanted media time, he should have just applied to be a fill-in host for Alex Jones. Before he knew it, he would have become a rightwing celebrity.

After his absurd predictions of a Mitt Romney landslide in November, analyst Dick Morris has finally been dropped by Fox News. I think even Dick Morris could have seen this one coming. Anyway, Morris hasn’t been on Fox News since November 12th. I think that was the date when Fox News finally realized that Mitt Romney had not won the election.

New polling data shows that getting an endorsement from the NRA actually hurts candidates. Well, it turns out that an NRA endorsement isn’t a magic bullet after all. The NRA opposes background checks, which are supported by 90 percent of the population. They attack the President’s daughters. Only an idiot would think that an NRA endorsement would help a candidate—an idiot or Dick Morris.

Yesterday, Eric Cantor gave a speech trying to rebrand the GOP as a more friendly party. Could they have picked a worse guy than Eric Cantor for that job? The pathetic thing is that they easily could have.

A new study shows that black and Hispanic voters waited twice as long as whites to vote in 2012. Well at least one thing worked for Republicans exactly as it was designed to work. White voters waited an average of 12.7 minutes to vote. Minority voters waited an average of 20.2 minutes. That’s the average, mind you. In Florida, it took minority voters 20 minutes just to find the end of the line.

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Beware the Republican Batman...