It's Friday, ya bastids!

Conservatives are pressuring Mitt Romney to pick Paul Ryan for his running mate. When conservatives say “Jump,” Mitt Romney says “I’ve always been jumping. I was a severely jumping Governor.” Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan! Seeing those two together on the podium would be like looking at an ad for one of those weird 1950’s horror movies—“Dracula Meets the Space Robot!”

In a Fox News poll, President Obama leads Mitt Romney by 49 percent to 40 percent. Of course, you have to keep in mind that it’s the job of Fox News to scare the pants off of their viewers.

Wacky Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh is being criticized for referring to President Obama as “son.” Joe, Barack Obama is clearly not your son... or you would be refusing to pay child support for him.

Rush Limbaugh is rewriting the economic history of the George Bush years. Rush took a tragedy and turned it into a feel-good story. It’s like if he changed the ending of Romeo and Juliet so that they end up getting married and opening up their own detective agency. Rush is saying that unemployment near the end of the Bush presidency was “just about 5 percent.” Yeah, if Rush Limbaugh is “just about” Brad Pitt. If Rush used numbers this totally false in his personal life, he would be telling people he weighed 170 pounds.  

The latest attack on President Obama from Romney is that President Obama wants to do an auto-industry-type rescue of every industry. Why that particular claim? Because Obama said something that could be selectively edited to make it sound like that’s what he said. Is President Obama going to have to completely stop using pronouns so that Mitt Romney can’t take his words out of context? Obama actually said “now the American auto industry has come roaring back and GM is number one again. So now I want to do the same thing with manufacturing jobs not just in the auto industry, but in every industry.” To say that’s wrong is to oppose success. But then that’s just what Republicans have been doing.

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